Back When James Deflated His Head
by Lizzie Lupin
Summary: A sulking James tries to deflate his head as one last shot for Lily's heart. Along the frustrated and amusing journey, he joins Sirius Black's School of Charm...which is sure to be fun. JP/LE with a bit of LE/SS. Chapter EIGHT up! R
1. Goodbye For the Summer

This is just a fic, and if people like it, I'll probably continue to write more on it. Don't be a hater, haha, so kind reviews only, please! And if this seems kind of fluffy, it honestly wasn't intentional...Cheers, -Lizzy Lupin.

James Potter sidled quietly down the street, thumbs in pockets, with an uncharacteristic scowl splashed across his face. The sun was sinking lower and lower in the evening, and spinning colors of pink and yellow swirled in the sky.

The wind whistled slightly, and ruffled James' hair. James subconsciously shook his head in the breeze, and ran a hand through his hair trying to make it even more ruffled. Then he realized what he was doing, and with a furrowed brow, he suddenly swiped a pocket comb out of his pocket and he pulled the comb through his hair, trying to straighten it...he was going to win Lily no matter what, and if she didn't like him ruffling his hair, then he was going to keep it straight.

A few weeks ago, James Potter had been at Hogwarts finishing his sixth year...and just last week, he had ridden home on the Hogwarts Express, and took so many trips to the bathroom that Sirius figured James must have spent the whole night drinking Butterbeers. But really, the seven trips to the bathroom were actually seven trips to walk casually by Lily Evan's compartment. Each time he would walk by, Lily would see him out of the corner of her eye, but would not acknowlege him, and instead would chat even more exhuberantly with her friends. Finally, when he made his eighth trip, he found that Lily had closed the compartment door...

Back at his own compartment, the food trolley had come by. James, struck with an idea, bought a large and careful selection of sweets.

"Excellant, Prongs..." Sirius Black said, grinning, and reached his hand towards James' pile of candy. James swept up the pile of candy before Sirius could grab any.

"Sorry, guys," James said, with a small smile. "They're not for us." Sirius looked crestfallen, and pretended to sniffle over a pack of every flavor beans.

"Alright, alright, your lucky," James said, "I'm feeling generous today." And he threw Sirius, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew each a pack of sweets before hurrying from the compartment. Down the train and to the left, he reached the compartment of his destination. He knocked on the door and while he waited he ruffled his hair.

One of Lily's friends, Mary MacDonald, slid the door open, then she sat back down.

"Hey, guys," James said, grinning. Lily's friends giggled at his appearance, but Lily herself frowned and furrowed her brow and a slight color rose in her cheeks.

"Yes?" Lily asked, emotionlessly, not looking up from her magazine.  
James, used to such greetings from Lily, leaned against the compartment doorway and said easily, "Me and the guys bought so many sweets that we can't eat 'em all. Thought you guys might enjoy them."

Lily gave no reaction as she continued to read her magazine. One could have assumed she was hard of hearing. James, who refused to show he was hurt by this, said quickly, "Well, here you guys go, I gotta run." And he dumped his armful of sweets on the vacated seat next to Lily. The other girls in the compartment squeeled thanks to James, and Mary MacDonald said, "Oooh, Lily, they're your favorites!" _Yeah,_ James thought, _that's why I bought them..._

James, who knew a lost cause when he saw one, knew that he wasn't going to get any reaction from Lily, so he hightailed from the compartment. "Lily, that was really sweet of him..." He heard one of the girls muttering crossly. "Did you have to be like that?"

When he got back to his compartment, he sat down with a blank stare on his face. He didn't used to get hurt by Lily's cold shoulder to him...but now, nothing could hurt him more...

Later on, they reached Kings Cross Station. He saw Lily hurrying to her parents. As James waved distracted goodbyes to friends, he knew that this would be the last time he'd see Lily before spending a whole summer without seeing her...this goodbye had to count.

He saw Lily hugging her parents, and together, her family started to head out of the station.

"Evans!" He called, running after her, and trying to think of what to say. At his call, Lily halted in her tracks, and put her face in her hands. She ushered her family to go on without her, saying she'd be along in a minute.

James caught up with her and she turned around abrubptly.

"Yeah?" She asked, averting his gaze, and instead tried in vain to glance around at the other students scattered around Platform nine and three quarters.

"Well-I, I guess I'll see you...later," James said, a little clumsily. Lily, still not meeting his gaze, nodded.

"Evans?" James said suddenly, helplessly. Lily ripped her gaze from the train. She finally looked up at him, apprehension in her eyes.

"I--I'll see you around, then," Lily said uneasily.

"Yeah..." James said, meeting her gaze and searching her face desperately.

"I've gotta go," Lily said, shuffling her feet.

"Right, well, later then," James said. He coughed and held out his hand for her to shake. She shook his hand reluctantly, and James, unaware of even thinking to do so, pulled her into a brief hug. Before she could stop him, before she even had time to react, James released her quickly and he ran away down the platform.

As he ran, he threw a glance over his shoulder to see Lily standing stock still where he had left her. A surprised expression was on her face, but she was frowning, and her brows were knit. If only her skin wasn't so pale, James' wouldn't have seen the scarlet hue rising in her cheekbones...


	2. Something's Gotta Change

Chapter Two (A/N, thank's to all who reviewed!!)

James continued to walk down the street, his scowl continuing to darken as he thought of Lily. He wondered what she was doing right now. She was probably in her hometown, as he was in his, maybe she was with friends, or maybe she was even walking down the street like he was...maybe she was thinking. Maybe, if he was lucky, she was thinking about him. Why couldn't she stand him? To everyone else he was the vision of popularity, star of the Quidditch team, top in the class, and, James thought grinning; cool. Yet Lily couldn't stand him...well...if Lily couldn't stand him, then he needed to change. To grow up. He winced at the thought of 'growing up'. Nah, why grow up? He could surely think of some way to win Lily that didn't involve himself having to grow up.

Hmm...he'd tried so many things to win Lily. He even snuck outside at midnight, and threw rocks at the sixth year girls dormitories window until Lily opened the window exasperatedly, upon which James started serenading her. But she threw a shoe at him and yelled for him to shut up. Unfortunetly, it had been a high heeled shoe, and the pointy heel ended up gashing James's eyebrow. Lily felt no remorse at breakfast the next day, when James showed her his injury, and she remarked she regretted losing the shoe's mate, otherwise she would have thrown both at him.

He tried everything to win Lily, he was out of ideas, what was left? Yet, out of all things he had tried...he had never _really_ tried growing up...for real. Maybe he could--give it a try. Just for a little while. He was going to grow up, he winced again, starting NOW.

As he walked, he angrily picked up a heavy stone on the curbside, and threw it; aiming at a neighboor's trash can. The can tipped over, spilling it's contents all over the person's driveway. The neighboor aparantly wasn't home, and nobody else had seen him throw the stone--so, James shrugged and kept walking, unbothered by the spilled trash and still thinking about changing. Oh snap, he realized. The new improved James Potter wouldn't keep walking... And (the new and improved) James Potter grudgingly walked back to the trash can, and threw all the stinking trash back in the can. The neighbor pulled in the driveway just as James was finishing, and James put a fake smile on his face and waved politely. The neighbor was dumbfounded. James continued his stroll.

Dang, he was picking up trash for Lily. How fun. Although, he _had_ spilled it himself, so he couldn't complain. This summer, he thought annoyed, was deffinetly going to be anything but enjoyable...nice guys never had any fun.

Meanwhile, in another town quite a distance away, Lily was as under the weather as James was. With many thoughts playing around in her mind, she went out for some fresh air. She had no destination in mind, so she decided to let her feet lead, and her feet ended up leading her to the playground. The playground was deserted, the sun had started it's slow decent, and the evening chill had started to set in.

As James had hoped, Lily _was _thinking about him. She cursed him for being in her thoughts. She hated being alone with her thoughts, especially thoughts about James, and the only sound was the crickets and the birds...she wished she had company. She sat down on one of the swings and ran her hand up the rusty chain that was misty with dew.

Lily heard footsteps padding softly up the grassy slope to the playground. A dark boy, Lily's age, walked up quietly and sat down on a swing next to Lily. He gave no greetings and shyly looked down at his feet. Severus and Lily used to be best friends, but after the argument and Sev had called her that name...well, Lily did forgive Severus at last, but even so, things could never be the same.

Back when they were friends, Lily and Severus would see each other nearly every day over the summer holidays, as Severus lived within a mile of Lily. The playground was where they would always meet at dusk. Lily would take the right swing, Severus would take the left. Sometimes they'd talk, sometimes they'd just swing.

Lily looked sideways at Severus, who was still looking at his feet--giving the impression of sad puppy dog. She knew that Severus was waiting for her to say something...perhaps, "Go away," or on the opposite extreme, "Hey, Sev,".

"Hey," Lily said mildly.

"Hi," Severus said tentitively.

"How's it going?" Lily asked, trying to smile.

"Pretty good, how're--how're you doing?" Severus asked, trying to be as kind and polite as he knew how.

"I'm fine," Lily said. "It's nice out tonight, isn't it"

"Yeah, yeah, it's beautiful, really," Severus said, looking around, as if he hadn't really ever noticed the weather before.

"Are you keeping busy, then?" Lily asked, watching a sparrow fly by.

"Oh, of course, yeah," Severus lied, and in his mind he uncomfortably recalled this afternoon how he sat in his room and pored over his school textbooks which he already had practically memorized cover to cover.

"That's nice," Lily said, distracted by thoughts of another dark haired boy.

"Hey, Lily?" Severus asked.

"Yeah?"

Severus took a deep breath before speaking, even though it was only one sentence, "I miss you."


	3. Apologies and Insults

**CHAPTER THREE**

**(A/N Thanks to everyone who is reading and reviewing! Cheers!! -Lizzie Lupin)**

A tear fell down Lily's cheek, as she watched Severus...Severus, who had his eyes closed in emotional pain, his head turned away into his shoulder.

"Severus..." Lily started brokenly. "You know I miss you, too, but--" Severus's head jerked up at those words and he looked at her pleadingly.

"Give me another chance," Severus begged, his voice tightening and cracking. "I'll give it all up-- all of it"

"All of what?" "My--my old self," Sev said helplessly. "Take me back as your friend and I swear you won't catch me within a mile of anybody I used to hang out with...none of those Death Eaters! And I'll be good, I promise, even if Potter hexes me, I'll just turn the other cheek! I'll be good..." He finished lamely.

"I can't even tell with you anymore, Sev," Lily, said, hugging her shoulders protectively. "Why should I believe you?" She looked up into his face.

"Because I mean it," Severus said, his voice shaking, he stared Lily hard in the eyes.

Lily gave a weak sort of half nod. "Friends again? You meant it?" Severus said asked, not daring to believe it was true.

"Maybe, I dunno, I--I can't promise you anything, Sev," Lily said hardly above a whisper, now looking at her hands which were tightening and untightening as she clutched the chain of the swing. "...we'll see if you can be trusted."

Severus nodded gratefully, but sadly.

Lily slowly stood up from her swing.

"D'you wanna take a walk with me?" Lily asked mildly. Severus nodded and quietly fell into step with Lily as they headed down the grassy slope to walk by the riverside.

They slowed their pace as they walked silently along the riverside, the sun was almost completely gone now. The stars were starting to come out.

Lily thought about the boy walking beside her. Lily secretly stole a sideways glance at him. Tall and thin, but he had strong arms. While certainly not the usual definition of handsome, Lily couldn't deny that he was...her heart skipped a beat...sort of cute on the rare occasion that he smiled. But then Lily's brow furrowed anxiously as another dark haired boy suddenly pushed his way into her thoughts...no, she wouldn't think about James! ...But she couldn't help it.

"Lily, you're shaking!" Severus said suddenly, his eyebrows raised concernedly.

"Uh, cold," she lied in a murmer. She wasn't at all cold, as the night was a warm summers night. No, it was her racing thoughts that made her shake, and the farther she tried to push James Potter out of her thoughts, the more her heart skipped, and the more she shivered.

"Do you want to go home?" Severus asked, and started muttering about not having a coat to lend her as he was wearing a tee shirt.

"No," Lily muttered, her teeth chattering as she spoke, "I don't want to go home. Let's keep walking." And so they walked onward.

Severus threw caution to the wind and gently put an arm around Lily's shoulders to try and stop her from shaking, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Lily said softly, she forced herself to smile. Then suddenly, to change the subject and distract herself from thoughts of James, she whipped out from Severus's arm and cried, "Come on, race you to the big tree!"

Meanwhile, James Potter headed back home from his stroll, with the conclusion that he would become a changed man...or boy...he raced up to his room. He needed a plan. He was used to planning his pranks, but yet planning how to become --_nice_--well, that was a totally different matter and quite unrelated to pranking. Uncertainly, he took out quill and parchment...and started to write down every insult he could remember Lily shouting at him.

"Oy! Knucklehead!" James called distractedly. "Sterling!" Sterling, the family barn own, fluttered haughtily onto James's desk.

James ripped a piece off the bottom of his parchment, and hurriedly scribbled, "Padfoot, urgent meeting, now, you and me, floo over! -Prongs" he hurriedly tied the note onto the owl's foot, before picking up the owl and throwing him quickly out of the window while the owl hooted angrily and tried to nip his fingers.

James went back to the desk and added, "Insensitive bully," to the already long list of things Lily had called him.

Within the next half hour, James heard footsteps thundering up the stairs. Sirius glided into the room and swiftly grabbed the parchment James was writing on. James tried to snatch it back, but Sirius flew out of James's reach and flopped down on the window seat.

"'The cluelessness of a dingbat plus glasses equals nonetheless than James Potter,'" Sirius read. "What the heck is all this?"

"All the things Lily's called me," James said simply. "But I can't remember them all, help me."

"Well," Sirius laughed. "I can certainly help you there. Codswallop, Cabbage Head--" And they continued until James suddenly looked down at the list, which was now trailing onto the floor, and sunk down discouragedly.

"Enough, enough..." James said wearily.

"No it's not, you've missed my favorite, 'Puddinghead'," Sirius said, grinning. "Say, why are we writing these down, anyway? You making a scrapbook or something?"

"Nope, I'm going to grow up," James said proudly. "And become the oppiset of everything she's called me."

"Grow up?!" Sirius choked, laughing. "James, what are you doing?"

"What do you think I'm doing?" James asked seriously.

"Well, I think you're trying to come up with a new scheme to get Lily to love you," Sirius said.

"Exactly," James said. "Only this plan is different--"

"That's what you say every time, though, mate!" Sirius said. "And at the end of every plan, Lily always ends up slapping you across the face or--"

"Yeah, but this plan is different," James exclaimed. "I'm going to grow up! For real!"

"DON'T! You can't!" Sirius nearly yelled. "You're my friend, and I won't let you!" He ran and tried to grab the list of insults away from James. They fought over the list until finally James let go. Sirius sat back on the window seat and said grudgingly, "Well, go on, how are you going to grow up?"

"I dunno, what's the first insult on the list?"

"'Meanie MacMeanie'," Sirius read.

"Okay, so then, I'll stop being mean," James said uncertainly, trying to convince himself as well as Sirius that it would be simple.

"Yeah, right," Sirius snorted.

"Besides, there's more to the plan than just growing up," James said, grinning. "Which is why I called you over."

"Continue," Sirius said interestedly, crossing his arms.

"Alright, well, as your my best friend, then you'll--" James started, but was interrupted by an owl pecking on the window. Sirius threw open the window and untied the message from the owl.

"It's for me," Sirius said, opening the note. "Blah, blah, blah..." He scanned the letter.

"Who is it from?" James asked.

"Eh, that blond fifth year," Sirius said boredly. "She wants me to meet her in Diagon Alley..." He grabbed James's quill and scribbled a reply on the back of the note and tied it to the owl who took off.

"Told her I was coming down with the measles," Sirius explained, laughing. "Now what were you saying?"

"Well, see, good chap," James said grinning. "Obviously the girls are crazy about you...hence that owl that came just a second ago. See, I need your help--"

"Ahh," Sirius said, smiling widely. "You want to enroll in Sirius Black's School of Charm?"

"Exactly."

"Well, I'm afraid you'll have to sign the contract to join," Sirius said, pretending to blow on his nails and polish them on his shirt.

"What's the contract?" James asked suspiciously.

"Well, I have to make it," Sirius said offhandedly. He grabbed some parchment off James's desk, and a quill, sat back on the window seat, and started writing liesurely, occasionally giggling at something he wrote, or throwing a glance at James and then would snort or laugh loudly.

"Uh oh..." James sighed, as Sirius finished writing the contract with a flourish. "Well, how long does your Charm School last?"

"All summer, dear chap," Sirius said, grinning maliciously. James scratched his neck nervously. "That way you'll be ready to see your dear Lily on September first."

"Well, I'm not signing your stupid contract until I read the fineprint," James said, furrowing his brow. "Or I'll probably have signed to something saying I'll be your test dummy for that bat bogey hex your trying to perfect..."

**(A/N, tune in for Chapter Four, where I'll reveal the fineprint of the contract, hahaha!)**


	4. Sirius Black's School of Charm

CHAPTER FOUR

(A/N; No, Kira2667, I didn't forget about Sirius running away haha, I've been planning it for chapter five or maybe chapter six.)

_ ** Sirius Black's School of Charm**_

_** --The Contract--**_

_ I wholeheartedly understand that I come to Sirius Black out of desperate need for his wisdom and guidance. I know I can never dream to amount to even a quarter of the charm that Sirius Black posesses, and even after Charm School is finished, I will still probably remain to be a scrawny git with four eyes and too much hair that has been licked by cows (hence cowlicked.)_

_ I hereby state that I pledge my allegiece to Sirius Black, because I know without his help I will be as stuck as a knut that has been stuck on the sidewalk with a permanent sticking charm. I also state that I will lend my Invisibility Cloak to Sirius Black when he requests use of it, even if Sirius Black requests use of said Invisibility Cloak so that he can steal a bucket of icecream from the store to pour on my head while I am asleep._

_ I also agree to do whatever Sirius Black tells me to do, whatever it may be, and I will place myself completely under his tutelage for the whole summer, and will accept to follow any form of Charm training he may have or may come up with on spur of the moment--even if it should have nothing to do with Charm School, for instance making Sirius a snack, or polishing Sirius's broomstick._

_ I hereby agree to follow all lessons learned in Charm School, and will have a pleasant attitude through every lesson, and will be a happy camper--even if Sirius literally makes me go camping._

_ (I also agree that Sirius Black is of the following qualities; Righteous, all-knowing, all-seeing, polite, courteous, and more handsome than James Potter)_

_SIGN HERE; _

James read the contract that Sirius had come up with, his face darkening as his eyes slid farther and farther down the page. Sirius just sat on the bed, smiling politely as he stared at the ceiling, twiddling his thumbs very sweetly and patiently.

"Well?" Sirius asked, when James had finished reading.

"You know what?" James said mildly, grinning. "I really loved the contract, but I'm going to have to--" and he threw the contract out of the window.

"Hey! I spent ten minutes writing that!" Sirius yelped, sticking his head out the window to watch the parchment float away. Then he regained control of himself, although fuming. "Well, no contract, no Charm School... good luck with Evans." And he crossed his arms like a child.

I won't bother telling you about how James spent an hour begging Sirius not to make him sign the contract, so I'll just skip to the part where James stompped angrily outside to retrieve the contract, which by then had blown across the street and several yards down.

And so James made his way back into the house, and signed the contract, muttering incoherantly and annoyedly at Sirius, who was now happy--like a toddler who has finally (with much crying and yelling) persuaded his mother into giving him a cookie.

James thrust the now signed contract into Sirius chest.

"Alright, your highness, I signed it, now what?" James asked, furrowing his brow.

Sirius yawned luxuriously, stretching lazily.

"I dunno, class doesn't start til tomorrow," Sirius said leisurely. "But for now, a snack will suffice."

James stared incredulously at Sirius.

"What?!" Sirius asked. "I'm hungry, so, go on, off to the kitchen, James..." Sirius shooed James out of the room. James stompped off to the kitchen. When he came back, he stuck his head in the door.

"Would pie be nice?" James asked casually.

"Hmm...what kind is it?" Sirius asked contemplatively.

"Banana cream," James said offhandedly.

"Eh, I prefer Lemon Meringue, but banana cream will due." Sirius said.

"Alright, good, because, Padfoot," James said sweetly. "I'd like to set things straight on how this summer is going to work..." (A/N; Think you know what's going to happen?)

James maliciously stepped into the room, a banana cream pie in hand.

Sirius, who was lying on James's bed, sat up quickly, keeping his eyes on the pie.

"James!" He started anxiously. "NO! As your teacher-- I-- I _forbid_ you--"

James, now laughing like a maniac, ran to Sirius, pie poised to strike, but then just as Sirius was shielding himself from the pie, SMACK!! James tripped on his broomstick, and fell to the floor, his face landing in...the pie.

Sirius was rolling around in laughter, gasping for breath as James stood up, wiping cream off his glasses.

"This is how--this is how summer's going to go, you say?" Sirius choked through laughter. "This is going to be--" he hiccuped, "the best summer of my life!"


	5. How NOT to Grin Charmingly

**(A/N, thanks to everybody who bothers to come and read and review this, I know this story isn't too popular, but I'm trying! See ya later! -Lizzie Lupin )**

A piercing yell shot through the Potter mansion as James awoke from his peaceful slumber due to a pillow being smashed into his face by a --shall we say a...a sweet kid commonly known as Sirius Black.

"Wakey-wakey!" Sirius yelled, jumping up and down on the foot of James's bed...this resulted in James rolling off onto the floor. "We need to work on your reflexes, mate." Sirius added as James growled as he hit the floor. James grabbed the sheets of the bed and pulled. Sirius went flying, arms flailing madly as he landed in a crumpled heap on the floor.

"What was that? WHO's the one who needs to work on their reflexes?" James grinningly taunted at Sirius.

"Alright, class has been in session for THREE MINUTES," Sirius barked at James. "And that means that you tripped the teacher--so, it's all together fitting for me to punish you."

"I'd like to see you try, Padfoot," James challenged, picking up a pillow, preparing to fight.

"Huh, well, maybe I don't feel like it," Sirius said, stalking out of the room, his head held high. James frowned. He went after Sirius and found him leaving the kitchen.

"Go get dressed, you slob," Sirius said to James. "You disgust me"

"Why, what time is it?" James asked.

"Noon." And with that, Sirius aimed a kick at James's shins, which resulted in James yelling, then going to get dressed.

As James came down the stairs, pulling a teeshirt over his head, Sirius stood at the bottom of the stairs, arms crossed and tapping his toe impatiently.

"Alright, you, me, Diagon Alley, NOW." Sirius said.

"Huh?"

"First lesson."

"But I haven't even eaten yet!" James protested.

"Too bad." Sirius said. James, however, took off at a run to the kitchen. A moment later, Sirius could be seen dragging James forcefully from the kitchen, while James was protesting and yelling through a mouthful of food while a bits of waffle flew from his mouth. Sirius turned around on the spot, and shouted exhaspertatedly, "Shut your mouth right now or I'm shutting it for you!"

James meekly shut his mouth and swallowed.

"First lesson, pudding head, it's not charming to chew with your mouth open," Sirius said frowning. "Now, come on."

He lead James out the front door.

"Wait, why aren't we flooing?" James asked.

"Because you need all the practice you can get..." Sirius muttered, shaking his head. And they headed toward the muggle underground.

"Now, just watch." Sirius muttered under his breath to James. "Don't do anything..." as they walked down the sidewalk, Sirius flashed a small smile at a passing girl in her late teens. The girl, taken aback at first, grinned back as she walked on by.

"See?" Sirius said to James. "Now you try."

James waited until a teenage muggle girl walked by, and he gave her a huge, dazzling smile, and tipped his head in a nod. The girl, far from smiling, looked extreemly frightened, and hurried past James as quickly as she could as though James were an escaped convict.

"You pervert!" Sirius barked loudly at James, whalloping him upside the head. Passersby on the street stared. "You don't go smiling at a girl like THAT--gosh, you totally freaked her out..."

"Alright, then how'd you do it?" James asked meekly, obviously embarressed .

"Copy me," Sirius said. He demonstrated his charming grin. James tried to copy it... "No, no, no...like THIS."

And they stood there on the sidewalk, for a few minutes, as James tried to copy Sirius's grin. Most people walking by them just assumed they were either idiots or maybe they were high.

Once Sirius was satisfied with James's attempt at a charming grin, he let James try it on the next passerby thier age... well, James's charming grin was more swashbuckling than charming, but nevertheless, the girl smiled back, and so Sirius was pleased.

Much later, as they reached the Leaky Couldron, James got to the door first, and went inside. He threw a glance over his shoulder--hadn't Sirius been right behind him?...Where Sirius had gone to?...and Sirius bonked loudly into the door.

James opened the door quickly, to see Sirius sprawled on the sidewalk.

"YOU DIDN'T HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME!" Sirius yelled. "You _JERK!"_

"Sorry, Sirius, I didn't mean to--" James said, holding a hand out to Sirius. Sirius took the hand and stood up, then slapped James across the face.

"SIRIUS!" James yelped, clutching his smarting face.

After that slap, Sirius was obviously pleased now.

"Well, I had to do a demostration," Sirius said calmly.

"A demonstration of WHAT, pray? Slapping me?" James said angrily.

"No, no, god man, that whole scene, bonking into the door, was to show you what WOULD have happened if you had been out with a girl, namely Lily." Sirius said, grinning.

"Yeah, but Lily wouldn't have slapped me!" James exclaimed.

"Oh yes she would, she's already shown you several times that she doesn't mind whalloping you across the face," Sirius said, raising his eyebrows. "Besides, now you know and you've learned your lesson, and in the future I expect you to hold the door open for me...and eventually, Lily."

Once in Diagon Alley, James turned abrubptly to Sirius.

"Where are we actually going?" James asked. "You haven't said."

"I dunno, we can go anywhere, it doesn't matter," Sirius said distractedly. "You just need to practice behaving..."

"Yeah, how fun," James mocked.

"Hey, this whole thing was your idea, mate," Sirius said, raising an eyebrow. "Do you like Evans or not?

Color rose into James's face, "Yeah, I do, you know I like her."

"Enough to spend your _entire summer_ trying to transform into Mister Nice Guy?" Sirius questioned, "I don't want to listen to you complain the whole summer...I've never seen you complain so much, Prongs..."

"I won't complain any more. I promise." James said quietly, frowning, a serious knit to his brows. "I'll come quietly and do whatever I need to do...I'll do anything."


	6. The Tea Party Gone Wrong

** (A/N, thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing! Reading a nice review makes me so happy, you can't even imagine how much! See ya later, -Lizzie Lupin)**

Sirius lead James through Diagon Alley as if James were a puppy dog on a leash. James did everything Sirius told him to do, but Sirius was getting frustrated because James seemed to hardly be listening and his eyes were unfocused and glassy.

In Flourish and Blotts, Sirius insisted that James buy a Teen Witch magazine so that poor James could try and better understand the mind of a certain redheaded teen witch. James went to the counter to buy his book, and he reached the counter the same time as a girl reached the counter as well. Well, James actually got there a moment before her... Sirius nudged James and muttered out of the corner of his mouth that James needed to let the girl go first. James stood back and beckoned politely for the girl to go ahead of him. As the girl was buying her book, James muttered angrily to Sirius, "But I got here first!"

"So what?" Sirius muttered back. "Ladies first, you know the rules..."

"Ladies first," James repeated, rolling his eyes.

_(Later on...)_

Back at the Potter Mansion, Sirius announced to James that it was time for a teaparty.

"Are you joking?" James asked seriously.

"No. Now go get dressed up." Sirius said.

"Sirius, c'mon!" James protested.

"NOW! Dress robes!"

James stomped upstairs and came back a few minutes later, agitatedly pulling at the collar of his robes, "SIRIUS! Where are you?"

"Drawing room!" Sirius shouted back.

As James entered the elegant drawing room, he saw Sirius seated by the fireplace. On the small table in front of Sirius there was a jumble of 'tea party' related items... Sirius stood up, and James gaped at the floor length blue velvet cape Sirius was wearing.

"What. The. Heck?" James asked, looking at the ridiculous cape. "I'm not even going to ask where you got that..."

Sirius ignored this. "Hello, there, dear, how ARE you?"

"Simply splendid, good chap," James said, in his most spiffing accent...if he was going to play tea party, he was going to do it right. "I MUST say, that's the most ruddy awful cape I've ever seen. I _must_ have one, tell me where you bought it?"

Sirius clicked his tongue, "Enough chit-chat, tea time! Do sit down."

"Right-o!" James said brightly, and immediately sat down on the floor, just to spite Sirius.

"Allergic to chairs?" Sirius asked, grinning, raising an eyebrow as he seated himself luxuriously in an overstuffed chair as if the chair was a throne.

"No, dear Sirius," James said, smiling sweetly, "see, if I were to sit in a chair, I would be at your eyelevel, your highness. I decided that it would be all together fitting if I sat on the floor, so that you could look down at me. You know, as if I were dirt."

Sirius nodded grimly, "Excellant point. Would you care for some tea?"

"Yes." James said.

Sirius cleared his throat.

"Yes, _please_." James said, rolling his eyes. Sirius smiled mischievously and poured the tea.

"Sugar?" Sirius asked, fixing James's tea.

"Yes, please I love sugar," James said, polishing his fingernails.

"Lemon?"

"Yes, please, I love lemon."

"Cream?

"Most definitely, I love cream, thank you."

"Honey?"

"Yes, I love honey, thank you."

"Lily?"

"Yes, please, I love Lily more than honey."

Sirius laughed, and gave James his tea--well, actually, handed it down to James, who was on the floor...

James took a sip of tea then spat it out.

"How rude!" Sirius cried, "That is NOT proper--"

"SIRIUS! THIS TEA IS AWFUL!" James exclaimed, wiping his tongue on his robes, "What the heck did you--"

Sirius shrugged, bewildered.

James glanced at his cup of tea, "Sirius...why is this tea all green?"

"Uh...it's...it's green tea." Sirius said firmly.

"No it's not, green tea isn't this green--" James stared at his cup of tea, eyes widening horrifiedly, "What are these green things floating in the tea?!"

Sirius coughed and looked away, "Uh, they're a fragment of you're imagination."

"No they're not!" James yelled, "Sirius, where did you get this teapot?"

Sirius muttered something about James's basement.

"You found it lying around in the basement and you didn't even RINSE IT before you used it? Heck, Sirius!"

Sirius frowned, "Alright, git, enough whining..." he took James's cup of tea and emptied it in the nearest potted flower.

"D'you want a crumpet?" Sirius asked vaguely, in hopes of getting the tea party back on track.

"I dunno," James said harshly, "Where did they come from? The dumpster?"

"No!" Sirius said, annoyed, crossing his arms, "They came from your kitchen. They're fine to eat."

"I dunno, I sort of lost my appetite after that splendid green tea..." James huffed.

"Fine, then, suit yourself." Sirius said, frowning and stuffed a crumpet in his mouth, chewing it forcefully.

"Yeah, thanks, I'm gonna go swish some bleach in my mouth..."

_ (Later on the next day...)_

The next evening, Sirius proposed that he and James go get some ice cream...and away to Florien Fortescue's they went. Reaching the ice cream counter the same time as a group of young witches, Sirius went straight ahead to the counter.

"I thought you said if you reached the counter the same time as a witch, you had to let them go first?" James muttered to Sirius.

"That's correct, good boy," Sirius said offhandedly as he looked up at the long list of icecream flavors.

"But you just--"

"Except when ice cream is concerned." "Oh, right..." James muttered, rolling his eyes.

They sat at an outside table with their ice cream cones.

"By the way, James," Sirius said between licks of his cone. "You're not actually stuck with me as a teacher for the whole summer."

"Really?" James asked, a little too hopefully...

"In fact, I've taught you all the basics," Sirius said, now crunching his cone loudly. "Recite to me what I've taught you today."

"C'mon, Sirius,"

"Now!"

"Alright, fine," James said, kicking his chair back on two legs, and looked up at the sky, running the day over in his mind..."Okay; Don't chew with your mouth open."

"Good, continue..." Sirius said.

"Smile sweetly."

"Yes."

"Grin politely"

"Good."

"Look her in the eyes when I talk."

"Yep."

"Walk calmly, don't strut and stalk."

"And??"

"Oh, I forgot, sorry-- and don't stalk her either."

"Correct, nice save."

"Open doors for her."

"And...?"

"And for you."

"There you go!"

"Ladies first, except when ice cream is concerned."

"Always."

James paused, and said, "That's everything."

"No it's not, think harder."

"...always be charming?"

"Yes, but that's not what I was looking for. Try again."

"...old ladies are people, too?"

"What the heck?!" Sirius exclaimed.

"I dunno, first thing that came to mind..." James muttered laughing. "OH! I remember now--"

"Thank goodness."

"-Never lick a cheese grater."

"Well, yes, but still not what I was looking for."

"Always say they look pretty?"

"Besides that, pudding-head."

"OHHHH! Okay, I've got it!" James said finally. "Number one rule is; C.S.C., Casual Sincere Compliments."

"YES!" Sirius said, patting James on the shoulder. "Now, like I said, I've taught you all the basics...I hereby graduate you from Sirius Blacks School of Charm."

"Really?!" James exclaimed. "Yeah," Sirius said. "Did you actually think I was gonna spent my whole summer teaching a git like you how to be charming?"

James smacked Sirius upside the head.

"HEY!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Well, you're not my teacher anymore," James grinned.

"I think you're forgetting something."

"Oh yeah, thank you, Sirius, for everything." James said, sincerely. "Except for the green tea..." he added, grinning. Sirius frowned and flicked a finger full of ice cream at James's face.

"You ungrateful git." Sirius barked, grinning. Then, suddenly, Sirius pointed over James's shoulder, and gasped, "Lily!"

James gasped and turned around quickly, accidentally dropping his ice cream cone on his foot...he ignored the disgusting wet and cold ice cream on his sneaker, and looked around quickly.

"Where?!"

"Sorry, mate, I was kidding..." Sirius said apologetically, then unable to resist, he burst into roaring laughter.

James growled and picked up the remainder of his ice cream cone and threw it at Sirius before marching away angrily.


	7. When Sirius Ran Away

**(Chapter Seven; Yeah, it's kind of short.)**

"Mind if I kip out here, Prongs?" Sirius asked brightly, barging into James's room the next evening.

"Tonight? Sure." James said distractedly, sitting at his desk, thumbing through the Daily Prophet.

"Or a few days," Sirius said, shrugging, throwing his rucksack down by the window seat.

"Mm-hmm, sure..." James said, not listening.  
"Maybe for the rest of the summer?" Sirius asked lightly, knowing that James was so distracted and totally liable to agree to just about anything.

"Yep, cool." James said, eyes sliding down a long paragraph.

"Awesome, James, thanks," Sirius said, obviously relieved. "I'll go get my trunk then."

"You do that." James said, still not paying attention, and his eyes still glazed on his news story. Sirius glanced around the room, muttering about "Safety first..." as he grabbed James's toy battle helmet, and rammed it on his head.

"I'm off then, back in a few," Sirius said, bouncing from the room and ruffling James's hair on his way out. Glancing back at James, "Oh, can't forget provisions..." and he grabbed a half eaten cauldron cake from James's grasp.

Once Sirius left, it started to dawn on James what Sirius had actually been saying. James was used to Sirius camping out a few days at his house when tempers flew at Grimmauld Place, so James didn't think much about Sirius asking to stay. But nearly an hour passed since Sirius had gone back for his trunk, and James was starting to worry.

"I'll give him another half hour..." James muttered to himself, glancing at his clock.

A half hour came and went, and Sirius still did not show. He pulled his two-way mirror from his pocket. "Sirius??" James asked into the mirror. No response.

"Looking for me?" Sirius asked, springing lightly into the room, and jumping onto the window seat.

"Yeah, where have you been? Whoa-- what the heck," James started, staring at Sirius. Sirius had a long gash running across his cheek which was dripping slowly.

"What?" Sirius asked. "My trunk's downstairs."

"Sirius, what happened--?" James's eyes flew across Sirius, realizing that the gash on Sirius's cheek was the least of the damage. Sirius, seeing James staring at his arm, hastily pulled his sleeve down over the bruised and bloodied arm.

"Who cares? Let's celebrate," Sirius said, grinning, but his breathing uneven. "Here I emptied my old sweet stash--since I won't ever be going back there..." Sirius pulled sweets and three bottles of butter beer from his jeans and cloak pockets.

"Huh, could have sworn there were four bottles..." Sirius muttered, glancing down at his cloak pocket, then saying, "Oh..." softly, as he looked down at his butter beer soaked tee-shirt which was all bloody and red. "...The fourth bottle must have smashed in my pocket..." he threw off his cloak and in James's wastebin he emptied the cloak pocket which turned out to be filled with shattered piece of glass.

"Never mind that," Sirius said, brightly, handing James a bottle of butterbeer. "One for you, two for me. Sit down, Prongs, quit gaping at me like a sissy."

"Sirius, what happened?" James asked weakly.

"Ran away," Sirius said easily. "You said I could stay, didn't you?"

"Well, yeah, but what happened?" James asked, face twisted up uneasily, glancing at Sirius's wounds, at the cold fire in Sirius's eyes...unable to believe Sirius's indifference on the matter.

"Stinging hexes from Father," Sirius said, shrugging, as if sharing the weather forecast. "Cigarette burns from Mother." He held up a hand to show a few red, round burns the size of a cigarette butt.

"What about your cheek?"

"Ohh, well they started throwing the china next," Sirius said, feeling his cheek and wincing slightly. "I would have gotten away sooner, but Romulus was barricading the fireplace..."

"You made it out, though?" James asked, brows knit.

"Yeah, I finally thought, screw the fireplace, and decided to apperate," Sirius said. James knew Sirius didn't have his apparition license yet.

"Well, you did a good job apparating, mate," James said warily.

"Yeah, I know," Sirius said, taking a long pull on his butter beer. "Amazing I didn't splinch myself, eh? I ended up down the street here a ways down, but nevertheless..."

"We need to get you cleaned up, Padfoot," James said. "I'll wake up my mum--"

"No!" Sirius exclaimed. "I don't need your mum to clean me up, I'm fine, and don't you tell her or your dad what happened."

"But, Sirius--"

"Let me drink my butter beer in peace, won't you?" Sirius said annoyed. "I've been on my feet dodging hexes and china for the last hour, I deserve a break."

"You're all bloody, Sirius--"

"I'll wash up in a few, alright?"

"Those are deep gashes, mate--"

"I don't need your mum to heal me, I'm fine."

"Alright, Padfoot, whatever you say..." James said, shaking his head.

"Let's enjoy ourselves, come on," Sirius said, frowning. He threw a packet of sweets to James, who didn't touch it. "Fine then, party pooper..." and Sirius, still lying on the window seat, turned and looked angrily out the window. James sat there in silence, unsure of what to do.

As the minutes wore on, James finally said, "Sirius, are you okay, mate?" Sirius didn't answer. He was fast asleep, his cheek pressed against the window, where his bloodied cheek was dripping blood onto the glass.

"Remus'll know what to do..." James muttered, throwing on Sirius's battered travelling cloak and swiftly gliding out of the room. "Remus always knows what to do..." Angrily, he thrust his hand into Sirius's cloak pocket and pulled out shards of broken glass, which cut his fingers. James threw the shards angrily at the wall as he ran down the stair case, somehow feeling empowered yet burdened by wearing Sirius's cloak... Looking down at his bloody hand, his eyes burnt with unshed tears for Sirius as he thundered off into the night in search for Remus.

**(A/N Hey, sorry I haven't updated in a while!! Anyway, please don't be too critical of this chapter, because Sirius's running away from home is a story in and of itself, so I don't want to focus too much on it in this story...and if you dislike the way which I portrayed Sirius running away, that's your opinion; but this is kind of how I see it...At least in this fic anyway.)**


	8. Remus Lends a Hand

**(A/N! Hey, everyone, thanks so much for reviewing! Each review means a lot to me, and I look forward to them so much! Anyway, unfortunetly, like the last chapter, this one is kind of small, but it ties together the runaway of Sirius. By the way, I assure you there is no Sirius/Remus thing going on at all-- only friendship. Anyway, I know we've had some drama in the last couple chapters, but we've got some laughs to come, and Lily get's back in the picture! Keep reading, and I love you all! -Lizzie Lupin)**

"He'll be fine, don't worry..." Voices muttered in low voices amid rustling cloaks.

"...Should we wake him up?"

Sirius stired.

"Might as well; I can't heal him in the dark, you know," Remus said. He turned on the lamp.

"GET AWAY, YOU HAG!!" Sirius yelled, sitting bolt upright and waving his fists angrily. Remus, caught in the chest by Sirius's thrashing fists, stumbled back and fell to the floor.

James held a hand out to Remus who took it and stood up. "He's never sleep talked or anything before..." James muttered to Remus, brows knit, as he eyed Sirius who clapped his hands to his forehead and gasped...clearly waking up.

"I'm used to insults like 'Nit-Wit'," Remus said quietly to Sirius. "I don't believe you've ever called me a hag before."

"I'm sorry," Sirius said, running his hands through his hair. "I was having a--a dream."

"Sounds more like a nightmare," Remus said gently. Sirius said nothing. Remus sat down beside Sirius on the window seat.

"From what I heard from James," Remus said slowly, folding his hands quietly, "It sounds like you've had a rough night."

Sirius said nothing, but frowned and hugged his knees to his chest.

"That's a nasty scrape there," Remus said, mildly, motioning to Sirius' cheek.

"Yeah, that's what James says," Sirius muttered, closing his eyes and resting his head on his shoulder, still curled up like a wounded puppy. "Can you fix it for me?"

The corner of Remus's mouth twitched, and he nodded. Remus was tactful enough not to offer Sirius help, but to let Sirius ask for help.

James sidled over to his desk and sat quietly, and watched as Remus muttered different spells and set about to heal Sirius's...battle wounds, let's call them.

"You know, they don't really teach much about healing spells at school," A distracted Remus was saying gently and soothingly. "In fact, Madam Pomfrey taught me most of this stuff...so that I could set about healing myself if ever I needed to...you know how it is."

Sirius was nodding, not saying a word, as Remus worked. A loud snore from the other side of the room made Remus look around and say with small chuckle, "James finally drifted off." Sirius forced a grin, then sank back into his gloom.

"That's everything." Remus said quietly, as he examined the last burn he had healed. He staightened up, and leaned back against the window, shoulder to shoulder with Sirius...and waited for Sirius to talk.

"I don't wanna be here," Sirius said finally.

"You don't want to be where?" Remus asked kindly.

"Anywhere, I hate being here," Sirius said, his voice cracking. "The Potters' always taking me in like a homeless dog, and your family does the same...you two and your perfect families... I'm sick of it. I'm going to Scottland...or America. I don't know where--but I'm not staying here."

Remus said nothing, but put his fingertips together musingly.

"Well?" Sirius said, impatiently.

"Well what?"

"Aren't you going to persuade me to stay?" Sirius asked seriously, cocking his head.

"Well...do you want to stay?" Remus asked. (A/N Remus is very tactful with psychology and reverse psychology if you haven't guessed yet)

"I dunno," Sirius mumbled.

"Don't want to go to Scottland?" Remus asked. "Or America?"

"I might." Sirius said haflheartedly. "You're trying to trick me."

"How am I trying to trick you?" Remus asked polietly.

"You're trying to get me to think that your fine with me going away--" Sirius started, frowning. "So that I change my mind and figure that I shouldn't go away--I dunno."

Remus said nothing.

"I hate your mind games." Sirius said furiously.

"I'm not playing mind games," Remus lied tactfully. "And I assure you I'm not trying to confuse you."

"Well, why aren't you persuading me to stay?" Sirius asked.

"Do you want to stay?" Remus asked.

"I can't figure out any reason TO stay," Sirius said slowly.

"You can't see any reasons at all?" Remus asked. Sirius shrugged.

"Well what about some great friends?" Remus said gently. "James and I? And having fun this summer? And then all going back to Hogwarts together for our last year?"

Sirius turned away and looked out the window. If he hadn't sheilded his face, then maybe Remus would have seen the tear trickling down Sirius's cheek.

Sirius cleared his throat, brushing the tear angrily out of his face.

"Fine, fine," Sirius said gruffly. "I'll stay."

"I'm glad to hear that." Remus said quietly.

"But not because you tricked me into it!" Sirius said. "Or because of you and James!" Remus raised his eyebrows.

"I'm staying because...yeah, yeah, I'm staying because of you and James." Sirius sighed, leaning over and ruffling Remus's hair before turning back to the window and falling asleep almost instantly.

Remus chuckled quietly and muttered, "Mission accomplished..." before drifting off himself.


End file.
